Don’t look at me like that. You’re a freakin’ sweatshirt.

I had been milling around in a heather gray XL men’s GAP hoodie
(only on my off-days of course)

And decided on one of those lazy days
(well, really, after catching a horrific glimpse of myself in a store window)

When going casual,
my sweatshirt should at least be somewhat fabulous
and perhaps that way
my soul would somehow be somewhat better off.
(even sans make-up/sleep/shower)

[*insert shout-out to juicy couture here, who made an empire out of comfy via sexy fitted velour tracksuits. genius i tell you.*]

So I visited Urban Outfitters
(only because it's on every corner)

in search of a trendy hoodie that I could pass off as stylish
and yet uber-comfy.

And tah-dah!

I found Paul Frank’s Mercer hoodie.

Cute, no?

And the next day,
my off-day turned in an “off-week”
and well,
I wore that thing every single day
for 4 days -
only retiring it to the wash once it was deemed smelly.

I expected to pull it out of the dryer
and my new purchase would be even more comfy than before…
(as this is what happens with the comfy cotton hoodie)

But after just ONE WASH

it had pilled.

A 80% cotton/20% polyester hoodie PILLED.

WHAT.

Excuse me,
but I was irrational enough to spend $72 and taxes on a sweatshirt
and it was a goddamned PILLER.

And of course,
I was so thrilled with the sweatshirt pre-wash,
(and so unsuspecting because seriously - how can you mess up a sweatshirt)
I hadn’t bothered to save my receipt.

(Because, kids, just an FYI, if you have your receipt, Urban will take back practically anything for at least store credit.)

*insert shout-out to UO’s customer friendly return policy here*

So basically,
the Piller is mine for life.

And everytime I wash it,
I feel a wee bit anxious
and have to resort to high-maintenance behaviors
(brushing and shaving brushing and shaving)
in order to be satisfied with its "low-maintenance" look.

Sons-of-bitches.

Waste of my life.

(But I still brush/shave my life away and wear the damn thing at least once a week.)

So, unfortunately, this is a case where the Bobby has uncovered the inferiority of the designer product for which we naively have such high expectations.

(Here is where I would normally ask, “Did I wash this incorrectly?” But let's be honest here: it’s a hoodie for god's sake.)

Lesson #1? Be wary of the “designer” sweatshirt.

Lesson #2? ALWAYS save your receipt until your purchase has proved its worthiness.

See more Paul Frank here: www.paulfrank.com

And please, let me know if his other products are made of alien/poser cotton/polyesters blends that adopt the pilly cashmere/wool attitude.

(Your Bobby is forever the optimist – perhaps my individual sweatshirt is just a misbehaving freak of nature?)

Good luck out there my dears.
-Bobby